i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
