it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
