Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
