You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Randomize
