I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
