You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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