there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
