youre lurking in front of me
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Randomize
