just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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