the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
