did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize
