just survived the first fart of the relationship.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
