planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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