If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
