Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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