Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
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