My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Randomize
