did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Just pee around me
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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