and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
