You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
So squirting runs in the family.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
