OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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