Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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