Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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