If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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