she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
