Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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