eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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