Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
