We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
