Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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