i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
