Buhtt sex?
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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