Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
