oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
