I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
