I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
