We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Randomize
