i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
