why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
