A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize