My hand turned me down
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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