Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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