Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
A+ Viking dick
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
