xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
