i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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