do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Sorry my hands just texted you
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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