none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
