We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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