i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I have tasted many bathrooms
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
