I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
